In 2011, I lost my only sister at the young age of 32 by suicide. After losing Latrece, I felt I lost a sense of who I was and my connecting piece of the puzzle to how my life was supposed to be. I began speaking self-sabotaging language over my life. I remember clearly reciting in my head,

 “I’m lost.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

I had attached myself to these thoughts and believed them to be true. 

Months later, I co-created “Live Beautiful Now,” a 501©3 non-profit, with a mission to bring awareness to Bipolar Disorder and Suicide prevention.

During this time, I was vulnerable, insecure, and confused but continued in this journey to share our story in hopes that others would not have to

experience the same.

I started researching more about Bipolar Disorder & Suicide Prevention because I wanted to understand more about what happened to my sister and articulate it professionally as a resource. But I was not the professional, and I didn’t enjoy it. I felt like a failure.

I’ve always considered myself a free spirit and go-with-the-flow kind of person but losing my sister shook my world.

I just wanted to be the “old” me again.

There was a 7-year journey of feeling lost, stuck, confused, seeking, and exploring, trying to figure out my purpose. I began researching the mind and body connection, science, law of attraction, and spiritual practices and teachings. The information I was gathering was fascinating and spoke to my spirit. This was my ah-ha awakening moment that everything was going through after losing my sister was all in my mind. I had been living my life through the eyes of the past and suffering because of it. There was no turning back after this SELF-realization. 

Side Note: Yes, loss and grief played a huge role in my awakening, but there's also some other shit I went through along this journey in becoming unapologetic about my SELF-ish-ness. Life has an interesting & beautiful way of teaching us.

I began to let go of “people, places, things, & old/ limiting beliefs that were sucking my energy. I also decided to end my non-profit organization.

This was a new beginning and something I knew deep in my spirit was real for me.

I felt a weight lifted and applause from my sister for finally freeing myself from the past. 

I woke up and realized, everything that I was seeking outside myself was already within me. This was liberating.

To be more clear, I honestly never lost myself.

I was just lost in the “idea” of what I thought my life was supposed to be. I was trapped in my mind and had disconnected from my truest way of being.

My loving, joyful, free-spirited self.